"Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through."

— Ira Glass (from PBS's This American Life)

I am fighting, fighting, fighting. Someday I won't be disappointed anymore. If I live that long. I got started way too late in life. (If you don't count all of the quilting, cake decorating, cooking, baking, and silk flower arranging I've done over the years. Not to mention the 80+ art gallery shows I've arranged and hung.)

I need to tell you that I finished the hats! Along the way I acquired a collection of small end pieces. I figured that when I got to the end of the project I would use the ends in the final hat. I made Hat #50 and still had pieces left. I made another hat. Those pieces were going farther than I anticipated! So I made one more hat, which finished the odd ends I had collected, for a total of 52. I finished the last one on April 7th and gave the last lot of hats away on April 8. With them all given away, I am really and truly finished with the project. If you want to see them, go to: http://picasaweb.google.com/jcmatheson/The50HatsOfPhilanthropistSteetORTheFiftyNiftyKnittedCapsOfSteetyPeety

Hoo boy. I just realized today that I am waaaay behiind with my hat production this year. I somehow forgot that I was supposed to be making 2 a month and started to think that one per month was my quota. That means I have about 20 left to make this year, if I want to reach my goal of 50 hats in two years. I don't think I can manage it. I will extend the time frame by another year, unless something happens to set me up to make a lot of hats in a short time.

I didn't mention in my last post that the reason Ephram had his wisdom teeth out was for his mission application. The dentist wouldn't sign off without doing it. And now Ephram has his call. He is going to the Ghana Cape Coast mission. He enters the Ghana MTC on August 21st. We are excited. I feel that the assignment is perfect. He will speak English, but otherwise he will be in a world completely different than anything he has known. He will be great.

I just remembered I had this site sometime last week. I have been so busy in the meantime with holidays and the start of the new year, which brings catching up with a lot of other work done on the computer that I clean forgot about this site. I guess I will need to start posting to it again.

Ephram had his wisdom teeth out this morning. I need to stick around to nurse him for the rest of the day. He took a sedative, so he is out of it. Ephram should sleep most of the rest of the day. I almost feel bad that I will need to rouse him to change cold packs, gauze compresses in his mouth, and to have him take pain medications.

a new day?

The US has elected a totem, a symbol for its President. I have felt for many, many months now that Barack Obama's biggest asset in this election was his black skin. In a time when many Americans felt like their nation has done so many things wrong: the war in Iraq, the failed economy which is bringing down the world economy--the one thing the little man could do "right" would be to elect a black man President, thus putting behind, once and for all, the national disgrace, the national shame, of racism. The little man might be racist in his behavior, but he could say to himself that he was not--"I voted for a black man for President, didn't I?" No matter what anyone says, I believe that many whites voted for Obama because he was black more than because of what he said.

time change

A person doesn't get an extra hour of sleep if turning the clocks back in the evening causes them to stay up an hour longer.

I planted some peach pits today by the side of the fence in the front yard. Do I have faith they will sprout into baby trees? Not much, because I planted some starts of a grey-green plant on top that my neighbor gave me.

I tipped D & C and P of GP reading schedules into little spiral bound notebooks this evening for the Relief Society sisters for 2009. Several sisters have told me how useful this year they have found the B of M reading schedule notebooks prepared by Cindy Gallagher last year. So I decided to do the same thing again for the scriptural course of study for next year. As usual, I am second guessing my intentions and wondering if it is a good idea after all, or if anyone will get any good out of my efforts.